With-Woman in a System That Isn't

Part 1 of the Wise Body Manifesto

I’ll never forget walking out of that hospital after 36 hours at my first birth as a doula. I should have been exhausted. Instead, I felt like I’d been filled with pure life force—the world was more vivid, more alive. I’d witnessed the sacred. And I’d also experienced heartbreak.

I watched a woman in perfect rhythm with her labor—slow dancing through contractions, surrounded by love, completely in her power—until a nurse walked in and shattered it all with one sentence: “Why would you endure the pain if you don’t have to?”

The woman lost her resolve. Her beautiful ritual crumbled, and she opted for an epidural that she had intended to avoid. There was only so much preparation she could do, only so much support she could gather to protect herself from an over-medicalized birth. At the end of the day, the medical system and its industrial values overpowered her.

The birth was still beautiful and life-changing not just for her but also for me. The baby was born safely. Everyone was overjoyed at her arrival. But within the beauty I also saw the potential for more. For a more empowering experience in which the woman doesn’t just leave the hospital with a healthy baby and healthy body, but with the deep, irreplaceable transformation that comes from experiencing a rite of passage.

That moment taught me something that goes far beyond birth. It taught me that every major transition in a woman's life—first period, pregnancy, menopause—is a sacred passage. And most of us are walking through these passages alone, without witnesses, without ceremony, and without the support we deserve.

What many people don’t know is that midwives care for women throughout life—not just during pregnancy. Midwife means “with-woman.” I don’t work in birth anymore but I am still a midwife.

I became a midwife and a nurse practitioner to be “with-woman” throughout the lifespan. To protect them from within the system and honor the sacredness of not only birth, but of every stage of life.

I was heartbroken that this mom’s right to experience birth as a rite of passage had been violated. But I was also more in love than ever with the power of birth. Not just the incredible physiology of birth, but also the way in which body, heart, soul, and relationship are all integral to the birth process. Amidst the epic failures of our current medical system, birth retained its profound beauty. And I knew it was worth fighting for.

Stay tuned for Part 2: my story of trying to change the system from within.

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Body, heart, soul, and relationship are integral to healthcare at every stage of life. Whether you need support with menopause, painful periods, or another phase of your medical journey, reach out.

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